S3 | Ep.8 Reflection Episode: Tracing Jan Johnson's Memorial Stones

In this reflection episode, Brenda unpacks three "memorial stones" from her conversation with author, podcaster, and storyteller Jan Johnson — Jan's life parallels with the biblical Ruth, the wrestling of releasing her daughter to God's call, and a painful, still-unfolding situation involving her granddaughter — then offers simple journal prompts to help you recognize where God has shown up in your own story.

Listen to the episode Brenda is reflecting on here.

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About Jan Johnson Jan Johnson is an author, podcaster, and storyteller who has walked a rich and deeply layered journey with God. She is the author of Discovering Your Journey and the host of the Just Talkin' About Jesus Podcast. Jan's stories are real, unfiltered, and sometimes still unfolding — a reminder that God is faithful even when life isn't tidy.

Connect with Jan: Website | Buy Discovering Your Journey | Just Talkin' About Jesus Podcast | Instagram | Substack | Facebook | YouTube

Chapters 

02:22 Jan Johnson's Journey and Memorial Stones
10:05 Navigating Family Challenges and Faith
17:21 The Importance of Remembering God's Faithfulness

Start documenting your own "Memorial Stones" today.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to Remember God, a podcast where we practice remembering God in the midst of trials. Hi, I'm Brenda, and I help followers of Jesus recall God's miracles to successfully navigate current challenges. Welcome to Remember God, a podcast to practice remembering God in the midst of trials. If you're a follower of Jesus who is in a difficult season and finds yourself wanting to take control of the situation instead of trusting God, this is the place for you. This is where we will help you remember the places where God has shown up in the past, giving you the tools and strength to navigate through today's challenges. I'm Brenda Savannu, author of Memorial Stones, writer coach, and your companion on the journey of remembering what God has done. Friends, in today's episode, I will be reflecting on my interview with Jan Johnson. If you haven't listened to that episode yet, I would encourage you to go back and listen to the full conversation. It was amazing. Jan shares her wealth of life experience and the different things that she has walked through with God. And it is so, so rich and so awe-inspiring. Some parts of her journey are heartbreaking. And as we all know, that is life. That is the journey of life. There's incredible parts of our journeys, and then there's difficult parts of our journeys. Jan is an author, a podcaster, and a storyteller. I met her through Podmatch, which I'm going to give a quick plug here. Podmatch is an incredible community of podcasters, hosts, and guests. And that is where I met Jan and I've met some other new friends, and it's such an incredible place to be. So if podcasting is something you're interested in, I'll definitely encourage you to check out Podmatch and I will have a link in the show notes if you'd like to check that out. So, as you know, in my book Memorial Stones, I define a memorial stone as a place where God has shown up. It's a marker in our stories that we go back to to remember how he showed up for us in today's challenges when things get really hard. And, you know, as I like to say, if he did it then, then he can do it again. It may look different, but the point is that he will come through one way or another for us. What I love about Jan's story is that her memorial stones are so real. They are not tidy, they're not wrapped up with a bow. And there are some that are still unfolding, which is also the reality of life, that we have some that look great and we have some that are still unfolding. And uh we'll just walk through her memorial stones today and see if any one of these resonate with you and with what's going on in your life. Jan opened up about her comparison to Ruth, her life and Ruth's life, and how there were so many similar things in it. Ruth lost her husband, her first husband, and so did Jan. Jan's first husband, Howard, died from a brain tumor when he was only 38 years old. And she was left as a single mother of three. I'm sure you can imagine that was just devastating for Jan, devastating for her children. And then she eventually met someone else and fell in love. She fell in love with Ed. Ed is a guy who lived on a farm, he lived off the grid. So now Jan needed to transition her life to this going to live on this farm off the grid, spring water that you had to boil, a wood oven to keep warm and outhouse. She gave up her teaching career. She didn't know anyone in the area. And she said she was at least 20 minutes from anything. And just like Ruth, right, she left everything she had known before to come into this new life, into this new marriage. And Ed is Catholic, right? And Jan was not at that time. But what was clear when they got married was that they were doing it his way, and he was clear about that. So Jan said she walked through a full year of becoming Catholic. She couldn't take communion. And she said she had to sit there week after week with all of her Bible knowledge, all of her years of leading women's ministries and praise and worship. She just had to sit there and just be. And um, I I joked and asked her if that was a lesson in humility. And she said, yeah, she probably needed a lesson in humility. And just sharing that part, right? That all of the things you've known, all of the things that you have done well in, but now you're in a position where you can't even share those things and you just have to be quiet. One of the things I like to say is that if God had given me the full syllabus, I probably would have said no. And we talked about that with Jen because I asked her what compelled her to say yes, or if she knew what was going to happen, would she have said yes? And she said, I quote, if I had a clue, I couldn't have said yes. Isn't that amazing? And doesn't that sound familiar, right? Like sometimes when we look back on our journeys, we say, if I knew what would happen, I probably wouldn't have said yes. And that's what happened with Jan. But the amazing thing about this story was what ended up coming out of it. Jan was placed in the small Catholic church where she had to learn to receive for a while before God gave her the floor to start giving. And sometimes that's really important is learning to receive. I think women in particular, it's hard for us to receive. And we're so used to doing for other people that it's so difficult for us to receive when someone wants to do something for us. We're like, oh, I'm not sure. No, I don't need it. I can take care of myself. And so being in this position where Jan had to just receive in this place where she wasn't even sure she fully agreed with everything. But then eventually she started a women's fellowship. She taught praise and worship. She started leading Bible studies, she ran retreats. And uh 36 years later, Ed, her husband, who hadn't read a Bible when they got married, is now leading Bible studies himself. And so that was amazing. And the other incredible part of this story, too, was Jan's first husband, Howard, who had passed away, she ended up writing a book about his life and about her life with him from his journals. And what blew my mind about that story was she had their son, hers and Howard's son, narrate the book, read the book, do the audio. And in him doing that, he got saved because he wasn't saved at the time. And I thought, wow, that was mind-blowing that all of those years later, when Howard was writing in his journal, little did he know that he was evangelizing his son. And so I thought that was a mind-blowing testimony. And it's also an encouragement to all of us who have family members whom we're praying for and contending for. We never know how God is going to reach them. And Howard, I'm sure, had no clue that God was going to reach his son through his journals years after he had passed away. So that was amazing to me. This part of Jan's story reminded me of Memorial Stone 3 in my book, Judah I Will Praise. Because with all of those challenging things that happened in that season, at the end of it, Jan saw God's faithfulness, and she is continuing to see God's faithfulness. And so it wells up praise, right? She brought worship into a place where there wasn't any. And so I just absolutely loved that about her story. The second Memorial Stone I traced in Jan's story was the story of her daughter, her youngest daughter, who was a nurse and then decided to become a nun. And it was hard for Jan to process that because her daughter was going across the country. They lived on the West Coast, so she was gonna have to go all the way to the East Coast. And entering into that service, there would be no phone for the first year, very limited contact. The only contact would be through letters and, you know, occasional phone calls. And Jan was really upset. And then she came to find out that they were writing letters to her daughter, and her daughter was writing letters to them. But the mother in the convent where her daughter was staying was not mailing the letters that Jan's daughter was writing. And so when she found that out, she got even madder. And so the little communication she thought they were going to have, they actually didn't really have, which is upsetting. So she brought her anger to God and he said to her, What right do you have to be mad? Which I thought was hilarious, right? God knows how to speak to each of us. He speaks to each of us in the way that we get it and in a way that resonates with us. So the funny thing about that was then after God asked her that question, What right do you have to be mad? She pushed back and said, Well, didn't I pray for my children to know you? Doesn't my daughter know you? And couldn't she still know you here where we are in Portland? And God said, I have things I need to do with her. That's exactly what God said. I have things I need to do with her. And so He sent her away to this place where it was hard for her to communicate with her mom and her dad. The letters weren't coming, they couldn't get on the phone, and Jan was upset. But she kept going back to the Lord and remembering what he said. I have things I need to do with her. Well, eventually that part, that first year ended, and then there was more communication. But I love that she was just frank about her anger with the Lord, the Lord, and she compared herself to Jonah in that moment, just being really angry with God and what he was doing, but then also hearing God when he said, No, no, I have things I need to do with her. And so we talked a little bit there about just being honest about our feelings with God and not feeling like we cannot say to him, Hey, I'm really upset about this, I'm really angry about this. And I'm sure I've shared this before, friends, that this is something I've been learning in the last couple years or so, just learning to be honest with God. And so this particular Memorial Stone reminded me of uh Memorial Stone 5 in my book, Nepthali, to wrestle. Because Jan had to wrestle with God about her daughter being sent away because it wasn't just that she was going to be away, it was that being a nun, she wouldn't get married, she wasn't going to have children, right? So she's grieving all of these things that she had dreamed of for her child. And now, with the service that she was entering into, that wasn't going to happen. So Jan wrestled with the Lord in that she wrestled, but she stayed, right? She wrestled, but she stayed with him. And I think that's the most important part. And then the third memorial stone I traced in Jan's life. This one was tough. Uh, this is the story she shares about her granddaughter who was taken by her father, and Jan's daughter was wrongly accused of sexually abusing her own child. And it wasn't until years later, going through courts and so on and so forth, that it was proved to be untrue. But just an incredibly difficult season for Jan, for her daughter. And it's a situation that actually hasn't been resolved yet because they still do not have communication with Jan's granddaughter. And so that was a really difficult story. Um, it's a difficult experience that Jan is currently going through. Uh it reminded me of Memorial Stone One in my book, Reuben. Um, the Lord has seen my affliction. We haven't, we we've seen part of the resolution, right, where Jan's daughter has been vindicated from this accusation, but there also still hasn't been reconciliation with the daughter. And so what a difficult story, but one where God still is present. And I often ask this question like, how do we walk the tension between knowing God is present and still going through difficult things? Jan said she holds on to the belief that one day her and her granddaughter um are going to be reconciled. Her granddaughter's gonna be able to put two and two together and realize that um something happened here that shouldn't have happened, and uh that's robbed her of time with her her mother, her grandparents on her mother's side. And so um I just continue to pray over Jan and over her family about that situation, this painful situation. As you know, the the reason I wrote Memorial Stones and the reason I'm doing this podcast is to help us remember, and I need reminding myself to remember where God has shown up when we're going through really difficult things. And this is a really difficult situation that Jan shared with us, and yet she can still go back to the places where God has shown up in her life and remember that he is still faithful. Because even with this painful situation, she still has some amazing, amazing testimonies of how God has shown up. So let's remember that, friends. Let's remember that we can always go back to where God's shown up before, um, to know that he is present in today's story and today's situation. So, friends, as I wrap this up, one of the things that really stood out to me about what Jan shared was she shared things that have happened in the in the past and have resolved. Um, and then she also shared things that were happening in the present and aren't resolved yet. And that's just the reality of life. But as we practice remembering God, we can navigate through these journeys, even in the pain, um, even in sometimes our anger, our frustration, um, loss of hope, despondency, um, just knowing that God is still there because he eventually will shift our gaze to where he is, so that we can remember that he is with us. If you would like to go deeper on this subject of remembering God and memorial stones, don't forget to pick up my book and you can head on to my website to be able to do that. Friends, thanks for spending time with me again today. And if you're interested in connecting with Jan, I have her connection points in the show notes. Please definitely reach out to her. She also writes fiction. So if you're a lover of fiction, head on to her website, get some fiction books, you can get devotional books, and you can read her first husband, Howard's memoir. You can pick that up there too. Thanks, friends. We'll chat again next time. Hey, wait, don't go yet. Stick around and listen to the preview of the next episode, which is an interview with Jessica DeYoung. You are not going to want to miss this one.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

I went through a very quiet season, and it was as if the Lord like took Holy Spirit away from me when God left Jesus on the cross. That's that's how deep and and painful and hurtful and dark that it felt. And I didn't understand why, because I was doing everything right. I was doing everything that I teach other women to do, and we talk about on the podcast. It just felt heavy and quiet. Like the words in the Bible weren't words anymore. It was just letters. Like it wasn't coming alive. I was praying and I wasn't hearing anything. It was just empty. I kept crying out to the Lord. I kept crying out, Lord, where are you? Like, why have you forsaken me? Where have you gone? I'm in the middle of all of these great good things, and you are just not here.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

If this episode resonated with you, there are two things I'd like you to consider. Number one, rate and review the show. This will help other listeners find the show and get the same inspiration and encouragement you got from it. And number two, I would love for you to share this episode with someone you love and someone you think could benefit from hearing this particular episode. Also, if you would like to connect with me outside of this podcast, you can find everything related to me on my website at brendasavanu.com. There you can find my social media links if you'd like to follow. You can find a link to sign up for an email so that you can get weekly encouragement to your inbox, and you can find information about my book and coaching sessions. So, friends, thank you again so much for listening to this episode and thank you for considering sharing it with your friends. See you next time.